Mistakes Parents Make With Their Teens And Tweens -

In his teen or tween, your child is no longer a little kid. And it is just necessary to improve your parenting skills to keep the home fine with them. Your child is probably moodier than while they were younger. And you now have so much filling up the spaces in your mind. You think about friends, dating, curfews, and a whole lot that keeps your curiosity. But most parents often make huge mistakes with their teens and tweens without realising a lot of change that has taken place in kids. Get Our eBook @ $2.99/N1000!

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As a parent, your little babies will grow to become teens or tweens, and they will test your patience and limits. But then, they remain your child. They may not even admit, but they actually always need you! You’d like these:

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Here Are Some Mistakes Parents Make with Their Teens And Tweens

It is just right you know what efforts are indeed worth it and will not result in negative repercussion

1. Exerting Too Much, Or Too Little, Discipline

Parents have their different ways of handling their children. While some parents try to avoid conflicts with their kids out of fear of being shoved aside, others sense they are losing control over their teens behaviour whenever they step out of line.

It is time you strike a balance between your child’s freedom and his obedience to you.

You can lay so much emphasis on obedience, and have your child fall in line. But without threading carefully, you may have missed out on raising children that are potential leaders. And it is no far fetch from the reality – you have been making all the decisions for them all the while.

Applying too little discipline will not help either. You should help your teens and tweens with a clear structure and rules to guide them as they explore the world they are. Set the core values of your family and instill it into the consciousness of your child through your words and actions. Your actions speak a thousand words, so ensure to create unity between your words and actions.

This means, you must not belong to the clique of parents who would tell their kids to do as they say, but now as they do. Instead, do as you say, so that they can do as you do.

Your influence as a parent runs deep into your child, far beyond what you think. Ensure to make time for them all through their tweens and teens. And give them the good ground to always return home to you even when it doesn’t show.

2. Sweating Over Little Stuff

There are times you will feel uncomfortable with your teen or tween daughter’s haircut. It may also be her choice of clothes. Or, it may just even be that part in the play you know she deserves, but isn’t getting.

Thread carefully before stepping in. Consider the bigger picture.

If your child isn’t at risk in anyway for her actions, you should consider giving her the leeway to make decisions that are appropriate to her age. Let her learn from the consequences of the choices she has made. She will need it in future as a parent, career person or anywhere else. And this applies to both sons and daughters.

“A lot of parents don’t want growing up to involve any pain, disappointment, or failure,” says Robert Evans, EdD, author of Family Matters: How Schools Can Cope with the Crisis in Child Rearing.

Protecting your child from life realities masks them away from very valuable learning opportunities – before they set to be on their own.

You are still the parent. And this means that you must still be available to guide and comfort them. But try to step back a bit and let them know that you are there for them.

3. Expecting The Worst

Many parents have chosen to set themselves up with their teens and tweens for the worst together. And this is because these parents approach raising their teenagers as a nightmare, with the belief that they have become helpless with raising their children. Hence, they watch their once lovable and adorable babies transform into some ugly monsters.

A PhD, director of the Institute for Applied Research in Youth Development at Tufts University says, “The message we give teenagers is that they’re only ‘good’ if they’re not doing ‘bad’ things, such as doing drugs, hanging around with the wrong crowd, or having sex,”

You know what? You should be careful with whatever you think about your children. What you think about them, could be a self-fulfilling prophecy. And this is backed by a Wake Forest University study which revealed that teenagers and tweens who have parents expect them to indulge in some risky behaviours actually reported higher display of these behaviours about twelve months later.

Here is Lerner’s advice:

“Focus on your child’s interests and hobbies, even if you don’t understand them. You could open a new path of communication, reconnect with the child you love, and learn something new.”

4. Gulping Down Numerous Books On Parenting

Now, let’s get this understood – parenting books are not bad. The problem that can emanate with parenting books is when they overtake a parent’s innate skills.

According to Evans:

“Books become a problem when parents use them to replace their own innate skills, If the recommendations and their personal style don’t fit, parents wind up more anxious and less confident with their own children.”

Many parents can tie up themselves trying to adhere to parenting-book’s advices.

You should read books to get more perspectives on your teen’s behaviours that seem confusing to you. Once read, make use of what matters most to your family.

5. Ignoring The Big Things

Do you suspect your teen of indulging in drugs, alcohol or other vices? Do…not… look…away!

As a parent, the actions may remind you of your own youth and you may think that it is ‘just’ something you want to overlook. Don’t overlook. If you do so, you are likely to deal with bigger problems in future.

If you think your child is getting into some immoral or wicked behaviours, you must take actions now.

A director of the University of Maryland’s Center on Young Adult Health and Development, Amelia M. Arria, revealed that the years when kids are between 13 and 18 years old are an essential time for parents to stay involved. Even though parents might consider teen drinking a rite of passage since they did too at their age, but the stakes are higher now.

More than the way it use to be in the past, your teen can abuse prescription drugs, household products and even cough syrups. Watch out for creepy attitudes your child may be exhibiting. Your teen or tween may have some unexplainable academic performances, behaviours, appearance and friends. Ensure to take these signs very seriously.

Safeguard whatever medicine you have. Know exactly how much products you have in your home, and in each package. Take neccessary actions when you find bottles of medicine in your cabinet go missing, or when you discover unfamiliar rolling papers, pills, matches, or pipes. Your child could be indulging in drug abuse.