If as a parent, you spend good time with a friend who is also a parent, and you pay considerable attention to the pattern of relationship between your friend, their partner and children, you will understand a bit of the kind of parent your friend is. You will also understand how their parenting method is influencing their children positively or negatively. The four main types of parenting styles we’ll be examining in this article determines the kind of children you are raising. See also:
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What is a Parenting style?
In the 1960s, a developmental psychologist at the University of California at Berkeley, Diana Baumrind discovered that preschoolers displayed various kinds of behaviours. And according to her, she found out each kind of behaviour was highly in sync with the kind of parenting they received.
Baumrind’s theory is that the type of parenting style a child receives and their attitudes have a lot of connection. This produces an eventual result in different child’s development and eventual outcomes in their lives.
She went on to do an extensive observation, analyses and interviews, after which she came up with three different types of parenting styles. She categorized the parenting styles into; permissive parenting, authoritative parenting, and authoritarian parenting.
Martin and Maccoby came up in 1983 to expand the three categories of parenting styles given by Baumrind. They employed a two-dimensional framework in the expansion. Baumrind’s permissive parenting style was hence segmented into two different types.
One, the neglectful parenting (also known as uninvolved parenting style) and then, two, the permissive parenting (also known as indulgent parenting style).
The result of the expansion puts the parenting styles at four. And sometimes, these given styles are called the Baumrind parenting styles or Maccoby and Martin parenting styles.
Here Are The Four Types Of Parenting Styles.
1. Authoritarian
2. Authoritative
3. Permissive or Indulgent
4. Neglectful or Uninvolved
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Now, let’s Explore These Four Types Of Parenting Styles.
1. Authoritarian Parenting Styles
Do any of these statements ring just like you?
- You feel children should rather be seen and quiet.
- You don’t consider how your child feels in any situation.
- Your rules only reflect your own way or ‘the highway.’
If any of these statements reflects your pattern of parenting, then you might be an authoritarian parent. Parents who employ Authoritarian parenting styles believe that children should follow rules with no excuses or exceptions.
Whenever a child tries to ask questions behind a certain rule, an authoritarian parent will famously respond with, “Because I said so.” All they want with their kids is obedience and no negotiation.
Oftentimes, these kinds of parents do not allow their children to get involved in challenges and problem-solving situations. They preferably make the rules and enforce the consequences without regard for their children’s opinions.
Authoritarians would rather make a child feel sorry for their errors rather than teach them to make better decisions. They wouldn’t even apologize when it is obvious they had wronged their child.
Children trained by authoritarian parents may become aggressive and hostile. They would rather employ anger in situations, and not think of ways to make things better.
Children who grow up with these strict authoritarian parents have the tendency to prioritize rules. But then, their obedience comes at a price.
And since their opinions aren’t regarded, children of these kinds of parents are very likely to develop self-esteem issues. These kids also may grow to become good liars. This is simply because they think they have to lie to avoid punishment.
The following characteristics can be exhibited by children whose parents have an authoritarian parenting style:
- They may have an unhappy disposition.
- Poor social skill display
- They may appear insecure
- They may have poor academic performance.
- They may struggle with low self-esteem.
- They are likely to be more prone to mental issues.
- They have tendencies of becoming drug addicts.
2. Authoritative Parenting Styles
Do any of these statements ring just like you?
- You set rules and make efforts to explain the reasons behind the rules.
- You invest so much in creating and maintaining a cordial relationship with your child.
- You set rules and their consequences, but also consider your child’s feelings.
If any of these ring just like you, then you are most likely an authoritative parent.
Authoritative parents set rules just like authoritarian parents. They use consequences too, but they do not neglect their children’s opinions. This kind of parent validates how a child feels about a situation while equally setting a tone that the adults are ultimately in charge.
Authoritative parents employ positive discipline methods like reward systems and praise to enforce good behaviour. They also invest quality time and energy into avoiding behaviour problems before they commence. They set standards, but guide their children through.
Dr. Baumrind identifies this parenting style as the most successful. She added that authoritative parenting is characterized by “high demands” but also “high responsiveness.” Baumrind believes that this kind of parents have huge expectations for their kids, and tries as much as possible to meet their needs to attain those expectations. This also helps the children to gain confidence so as to fulfill their own requirements.
Author of Under Pressure, Lisa Damour, Ph.D., says about authoritative parents:
“Research consistently demonstrates that the children of authoritative parents are more likely to enjoy positive relationships with their peers, to do well in school, and to become independent and self-sufficient than children whose parents take an authoritarian, permissive, or neglectful approach.”
Alternative name for this style of parenting is democratic parenting style.
According to Dr. Baumrind, the characteristics of children raised by authoritative parenting are as follows:
- They have good academic successes.
- They often appear happy and content.
- They exhibit good self-esteem.
- They become more independent.
- They interact among their peers with excellent social skills.
- They experience fantastic mental health. This means they are less prone to suicidal thoughts, drug use or abuse, depression, delinquency, and anxiety.
- They have less tendencies of becoming violent.
3. Permissive or Indulgent Parenting Styles
Do any of these statements ring just like you?
- You set standards but very rarely enforce them.
- You think your child would learn better when you don’t really interfere.
- You do not employ consequences often.
If any of these connects to you, then you may be a permissive parent.
Permissive parents are not strict with rules. They are lenient and only step in situations when they think it is a serious one.
These kinds of parents have a soft heart towards kids. They believe ‘kids will always be kids.’ They forgive easily even though they also use consequences. But they do not likely make the consequences stick.
They tend to give children more privileges if they beg. They act more like friends to their kids than parents. They encourage their children when they share their problems but almost do nothing to discourage bad behaviours or poor choices.
When children grow up under this kind of parents, they have more tendency to struggle academically. And since they are not used to rules and authority, they may exhibit more behavioural problems.
The kids may develop low self-esteem and be prone to health issues. Since permissive parents do not restrict the children from a lot of poor choices, their children may be obese. They are more likely to have dental cavities too as many of the children are not likely to observe regular brushing of their teeth.
Author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Ph.D., Laura Markham, says about permissive parents:
“Permissive parents have a hard time setting limits with their children, therefore, parents are more likely to ignore bad behavior, and to ‘give in’ against their better judgment when their child gets upset. The result is that they don’t set or enforce age-appropriate expectations for behavior.”
Children of permissive parenting may exhibit these characteristics:
- They often have poor self-control.
- They tend to have struggles in relationships and social interactions.
- They find it difficult to follow rules.
- They exhibit egocentric tendencies.
4. Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting Styles
Do any of these statements ring just like you?
- You rarely know your child’s whereabouts or who she is with.
- You do not ask your child about homework or school.
- You do not spend good time with your child.
If any of these lines ring just like you, then you may be a neglectful or uninvolved parent.
Uninvolved parents tend to be oblivious about what their children are engaged in. While there may be few rules, there is often little or no nurturing or guidance from their parents.
These kinds of parents do not do much in raising their kids. In fact, they often expect the children to raise themselves.
Uninvolved parents do not meet their children’s basic needs. Sometimes they may even provide funds for some essential needs for their kids, but are not available to meet the child’s emotional and other physical needs. They are often unintentionally preoccupied with other issues of their life. This may be the parent’s career, work, bills, or household management.
Another example of this kind of parent is one who is a drug addict or one with mental health issues.
Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs on a consistent basis.
Children raised by these kinds of parents may struggle with self-esteem issues. They often have low grades in school and exhibit frequent behavioural problems. They also experience sadness a lot.
The following characteristics can be exhibited by children whose parents have neglectful and uninvolved:
- They find it difficult to self-regulate emotions
- They are prone to exhibiting mental struggles such as suicidal thoughts.
- They encounter a lot of addiction problems.
- They may become impulsive.
So, which parenting style should be most effective in your own home?
According to researchers after several decades of studies, authoritative parenting style has often produced the best results in children. Psychologists and psychiatrists have therefore considered it as the best.
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However, here are some factors that play in the eventual turn out of a child.
1. Child Temperament
No doubt, the behaviour of a child can influence parenting style too. An example is a child exhibiting sensitive temperament. Such a child may be perceived as difficult, hence leading a parent to adopt the authoritarian parenting style.
A study revealed that some aspects in a child’s behavioural pattern such as aggressive and sociable behaviours may be better related with a child’s temperament rather than a parenting style.
But then, it is good to note that many of these studies have not been successfully approved by other researchers. And this means that these results aren’t consistent across other types of outcomes. For example, mental or behavioral health.
As a parent, you had better embrace the fact that a child succeeding in life, is not restricted to just an aspect or two. Authoritative parenting style has repeatedly shown positive results in parenting across diverse researches.
2. Cultural And Ethnic Differences
I have been able to conclude along with some studies that the authoritative style is not necessarily connected with offering your child the advantage of attending the best school. And this is across families of diverse cultural and ethnic backgrounds (such as Hispanic, Asian, Black) and socioeconomic backgrounds such as parental education, income level, family population, and active parents.
A study revealed that African-American students who grew with authoritative parents but have no peer support in school didn’t perform best in their academics. Asian-Americans however, did excellently well in school with authoritarian parents and peer support.
Spain has a report of children under both indulgent and authoritative parenting styles performing nicely in academics.
3. Parenting Practices vs Parenting Styles
The distinction between parenting practices and parenting style is another factor that can impact a child’s success.
The emotional conditions in which a child is raised is what we refer to as parenting style. However, specific actions parents employ in raising their children is called parenting practices.
Parents with similar parenting styles may choose to employ different parenting practices which may also affect the results with their children.
4. Nurture vs Nature
This is one of the oldest debates in psychology history. A study by the VU University of Amsterdam and Queensland Brian Institute has tried to resolve this debate substantially.
A collection and analysis of 14.5million pairs of twins from almost every twin study which was ever done in the past 50 years was carried out. And the results revealed that how a person behaves and his character traits have almost equal influence by environment (nurture) and by genetics(nature).
Parenting takes precedence when it comes to a child’s development. The impact a parenting style has on a child is very significant.
5. Limitations And Criticisms Of Parenting Studies
When interpreting research results, it is important to note that most of these parenting studies only find links between parenting styles and outcomes.
That is, the results are only correlation and not causation.
When parents who are responsive and warm have children who exhibit less behavior problems, there is the temptation to think that responsive and warm parenting produces better behaving children.
But we may also easily twist that and say that children who behave better cause parents to be warm and responsive since children often diversify in their temperaments.
But one reason why experts and psychologists still recommend an authoritative parenting style is that there have been no reports of any form of harm to children connected by this style.
As a parent, you should weigh your parenting goals, along with the research results to determine what type of parent you really want to be to your children. And if your goal is to raise a child that will be happy, healthy, kind, loving and responsible when he/she grows up, then you must practice authoritative parenting style.
